RDI Success Already!!

Today we went to Gainesville without Sophie to start learning which exercises to implement with Eli and we had an amazing day!

We got there, and while Eli played with one of the other consultants, we learned some things from our consultant about our strengths and weaknesses as individuals and as a couple. We talked about what we thought was really good about our personal styles, too. I think this really helped us when learning the exercises themselves.

Next, Tom learned a set of three exercises alone with our consultant, Angi. the first was just walking with Eli in a small obstacle course. The idea was that Tom would control the action of the walk and show with a big guesture how to get over or around any obstacles in the path. Next, Angi showed him a couple of other exercises. After Tom felt he had mastered what he should do with Eli, We brought him in. So, he did the obstacle course and it looked like (I was watching in another room) that it was hard to control Eli but that he was successful at the process in the end. The 2nd exercise was a push me pull me sort of thing with large facial expressions and noises. The third exercise was helping Eli put coins in a jar. The parent controls the action, while the child learns the patterns from the parent in each exercise. Once a pattern is established, we can do small variations in our zones of connection (how close we are holding him, etc).

So the beautiful part of this was during the coin exercise. The goal of these exercises is for Eli to learn to visually reference us for information on how to proceed. That is why we do noises and variations so that he learns to look at us when he needs information. So, Tom and he were putting the coins in teh container. Tom was holding Eli's hand and had Eli in his lap at first to establish the pattern. Then he put Eli in the chair next to him, and established the pattern again. Then Tom started making a noise or a facial gesture before Eli put the coin in. That would get Eli's attention and then Tom would "reward" him by saying 'You're Welcome!" very boldly and loudly. Eli LOVED this. So then he would get a coin, immediately look at Tom, and Tom would say "You're Welcome!" as soon as he did. watchign from the other room, I was CRYING with joy. It was beautiful to see Eli look for information from his father each time!! Angi was pretty close to crying too. Tom describes the process as a perfect moment in time. He got Eli to be the "apprentice" and the joy in all of us was indescribable. We KNOW Eli will be progressing now, we know that he can and wants to be a part of this master/apprentice relationship we are trying to establish. Amazing, I can't tell you.

After I calmed down (I really was crying my eyes out. I wish I had the video to show because it really was truly inspired and beautiful), it was my turn to learn a set of 3 activities to work on with Eli. I didn't have the success that Tom did, but I did establish patterns with him and have this next week to practice whenever we can fit it in (that is, when Sophie is either sleeping or distracted!). Tom will practice his, also. Our other activity is simply to go walking with Eli and share experiences along the way, or just have quiet time walking.

I have to say, I am loving feeling like we are doing something POSITIVE for Eli each and every day. We are teaching him and he is retraining us in a way to be better parents to him. We are learning to help him create his first real relationships in life, with his father and I.

The effect of this wonderful day, is we got home with a very happy child. He is bubbly, he ate somethign different tonight (Peanut butter on bread), he is finding ways to look at us for information, he is playing more with his father and I, and miracle of miracles, his sister! He tried to "show" her how to play his push down game with noises!!! She showed him that she loved him by giving kisses..

All in all, it was a miracle kind of day for us. It's great to have hope, and it's also great to have gotten started. We have a LONG road ahead, but that's OK, because now we know that we are doing a good thing for ourselves and our son.

What a GREAT day!