We're taking it easy today, not doing a whole lot. Just hanging out and being. Both kids are being little wonder children today, they must sense my need to process and be quiet.
I wanted to address some of my family who seem concerned about some of the posts sounding like I'm having a hard time of things. I'm really not. Each day is what it is and some days are hard and some are easy. That's just parenting. I've done my mourning over Eli's autism and I don't mourn anymore, I just simply love him.
I went through a hard time when Sophie was born and it was as though I let Tom become Eli's parent while I dealt with Sophie. It took a long time for me to come to the realization that I wasn't as connected with my son as I had wanted to be. I've worked long and hard on this now that Sophie is bigger, and I feel even more connected to him than ever now. He plays with me, he looks for my company, he comes for cuddles and love and tickles. And now when I come to school to get him, he comes running for me. On the way home yesterday he chanted, "mommy, mommy" in the car. He knows me again. For the longest time he only said Daddy, because he only had 1 parent while I learned to have 2 children again. Now he has 2 parents and says both Mommy and Daddy. It's a wonderful thing. I refuse to be guilty. All parents are only the best parents they know how to be at any given time. We are human and we make mistakes, and then later we laugh at them. On the flip side, Tom has had time to be very connected to Sophie and the blossoming father daughter relationship is joyous to watch and see. She looks so much like him!
We are a happy family who has ups and downs and is still learning to fly. We laugh, we cry, we sing and we make mistakes and we fix them. I love us :D
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